Times like this...

It is at times like this where I think my kids want to sabotage me. My oldest and my husband are both asleep right now. My youngest was asleep until he raised enough hell that after two bottles, I just said "fuck it" and got up with him. Now after sitting here with him playing in the playpen for an hour, he is laying over like he's trying to go back to sleep. I swear all this has to do with the full moon and the fact that they have glaucoma. (My husband, oldest and youngest son all have it) my only major problem with this is that I cannot keep switching up my own sleep schedule because it can lead to another major seizure. (I have epilepsy) 
I just wish they would get it together. I'm trying not to be my parents and make them get up at certain times and make them go to bed at certain times every single night. I hated it so much and my husband says he hated it as well so we try not to do the same to our kids but I am starting to swear that maybe they do need it. I can't handle another major seizure that will put me out of driving for about a month. Seeing as how I am the only licensed driver in my household. We cannot afford to stay at home like that.

Fuck my life......

Being a mom/being a disabled mom

Motherhood is hard work.i am not going to lie to you on that.but when you have a disability that makes it unsafe to pick up your child.try having a disability that makes you forget more easily then a elderly person with dementia or spacing out in the middle of your child talking to you about something that excites them.or even worse...actually having a seizure in front of your child.Being a mother is not easy but being a mother that has epilepsy or some other life changing disability just makes motherhood a thousand times worse.
I would not change anything about my kids or about being their mother .I just have to work at it much harder then my friends or anyone I am related to.

Being a mom with epilepsy

Most people do not understand what it is like to have a chronic medical decision and still have to raise children. Its harder because on days that you feel at your absolute worst, you still have children to get dressed,fed,and up for the tasks of the day. There is no chance to stay in bed to recover from an absence seizure or even a full seizure.
Your children act more overprotective of you then most children do.they help remind you to take your medication.if they are at the grandparents and try to call but you somehow miss their call,they suddenly want to come home to check on you....(true story....my five year old did this when I failed to call him back once)

Being a mom in general is stressful enough to start with but add in medical illness and you have an even bigger mess. Especially when you add in the side effects of the medication that you take. Like forgetfulness,tiredness,moodiness.....all that and then some.

But keep your head high if you are one of those moms and reading this because you are not alone. 💋🌺🌸

Being a mom with an invisible illness...

Invisible illness? Yes there is a such thing. Just because a person looks perfectly normal appearance-wise, does not mean that they are not fighting some kind of disability.
I am a mother of one,pregnant with baby #2, and I live with epilepsy. You cannot see it if you were to see me out somewhere but I do suffer from it. Am I asking for your pity? No. I am just being open about the fact that I live with something that can seriously injure my life and could possibly kill me.
Research for epilepsy is seriously underfunded. Yet it should take top priority over breast cancer research. I do support breast cancer but you can have it removed if it is caught early.you cannot do that with epilepsy.once you have it, you live in fear all the time. You constantly think "what of I have a seizure right now?" no matter what you are doing.

I am not afraid to say that I am a survivor and that I hope to never pass this on to my children.